SOME VIAGRA JOKES:

Did you hear about the man who choaked on his Viagra?

He got a stiff neck!

Q --How are Viagra and DisneyWorld the same?
A--They both require a two hour wait for a two minute ride.

NEWS FLASH!
It has just come to our attention that a large shipment of Viagra has been stolen from Heathrow Airport. Police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals. They expect a stff penalty under the penal code.

We recieved word today that it is no longer neccessary to stake tomatoes. Just dissolve a Viagra tablet in the water and they stand up straight and tall.

A man was at the pharmacy to pick up his Viagra perscription, and exclaimed over the $10 per pill price. His wife, had a different opinion. "Oh, $40 a year isn't so bad."

Have you tried the hot new beverage, Viagraccino? One cup and your up all night...

How many doese of Viagra does it take to change a light bulb? One little tablet and its a whole new bulb.

The viagra computer virus turns your floppy disk into a hard drive. The Viagra Super-virus then sucks all your data off the hard drive.

If your depressed and think you need Viagra, see a professional. If that doesn't work, see a doctor.

Did you hear about the guy who left his viagra pill in his shirt pocket when he sent it to the laundry? It came back to stiff to wear.

Top Ten Slogans Currently Being Considered by Viagra:

10. "Viagra. The quicker dicker upper"
9. "One-a-day, like iron"
8. "Get a piece of the rock"
7. "You've come a long way, baby"
6. "Viagra, it plumps when you take 'em"
5. "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman
4. "Tastes great, more filling"
3. "Viagra, built ram tough"
2. "Here's the beef!"

and the number one slogan being considered by Viagra:

1. Just do her.

Some honorable mentions:

"We work harder, so you don't have to"
"Ten inches long... and growing."
"Viagra, when it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight"
"Viagra, home of the whopper"
"Viagra, Now is a great time to be silver"
"This is your penis. This is your penis on Viagra. Any questions?"

With Viagra such a hit, I thought you would like to know that Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society...

DIRECTRA - A dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge to perform more child-care tasks, especially cleaning up spills and "little" accidents.

COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82% of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug for only 2 days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than our favorite store's return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials for U.S. Presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.

FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.

PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned 3 test subjects into "special prosecutors".

LIAGRA - Causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available Regular, Grand Jury, and Presidential Strength versions.

This is all I've had time to do. I do know some others which I'll put up as I get to them.

In the meantime, though, if you know any good ones, e-mail them to nicolemrw@hotmail.com

Thanks!

Back to my homepage.